


Casual Affair

by cantdoausername



Category: Death Note
Genre: (only one scene tho), Alternate Universe - No Death Note, BDSM as stress relief, Bottom Light, Breaking up and making up, Closeted Light Yagami, Divorce, Do you have morals?, Infidelity, Light Yagami/Misa Amane (Mentioned), Light Yagami/Takada Kiyomi (Mentioned), Light cheats on his wives with the same dude, M/M, Misa Amane/Rem (Mentioned), My L is very First!L esque but what else would you expect, Remarriage, There's a lot of sex in this, Top L, We know how that works, this is not the fic for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 13:41:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17204414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantdoausername/pseuds/cantdoausername
Summary: love af·fair/ˈləv əˌfe(ə)r/nouna romantic or sexual relationship between two people, especially one that is outside marriage· an intense enthusiasm or liking for something





	Casual Affair

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I've put out a fic, but this has been a long time coming. I've poured my heart and soul into this one, so I hope you enjoy! I don't have to much to say so get to reading! 
> 
> Oh, and shout out P!ATD for writing Casual Affair. I wouldn't have a title otherwise lmao.

 

>   _Break involuntary ties_
> 
> _A secret so the spys_
> 
> _Can never find us out_
> 
> _Stay for as long as you have time_
> 
> _So the mess that we'll become_
> 
> _Leaves something to talk about_
> 
> -Panic! At The Disco 

* * *

 Light Yagami’s life had been planned out for him since the day he was born.

He would be the best at everything. Academically, he was the best student. At work, he was the best detective. In his personal life, the best husband and, one day, he would be the best father.

There was no room for error. But, he had the God-given advantage of being Light Yagami. And Light Yagami did not make mistakes.

However, when he thought about what his life _needed_ to be, he wanted to scream. The weaker part of him wanted nothing to do with this pre-determined plan. But, he was not a weak man.

He would do what was expected of him. He would ignore his own wants for the greater good. He was Light Yagami and he’d do anything to appear normal.

When he was 23 and starting his work with the NPA, he got married for the first time to Misa Amane, a popular idol. He was using her as a cover for everything that he was underneath his perfect mask. But she—and the rest of the world—would never know that while Light was still breathing.

And yet Light made one mistake that would, in his eyes, ruin his life. All it took was the twelfth letter of the English alphabet.

* * *

 He sits in a small meeting room. The other five detectives all looked equally confused while Light looked like he would on any other occasion. He appeared calm and collected, not a single hair out of place or a wrinkle on his suit. However, he tapped his fingers on his knee below the table so none of them could see that he was getting impatient. He didn’t like waiting for unnecessary periods of time. 

“Good afternoon, gentlemen.”

The voice comes on before the projection. It’s grating on Light’s ears, but he’s heard it once before. A different case. Someone was on a cross-country killing spree and leaving a trail of bodies. He, sadly, didn’t get to solve it. He was still bitter about that.

“I am L.”

Light thought that the projection of the letter L on the wall was obnoxious, but if he was some unknown, elusive detective then he might do the same.

\----

Light Yagami is a patient man.

Sometimes.

“It’s almost as if you don’t hear the words coming out of my mouth, L. I’m telling you, this is relevant to this case and we need to look into it further.”

Unless a very particular someone got under his skin.

Light and L started arguing the moment they started working together. Even after working together for two weeks, they still didn’t get along. They argued about anything and everything, no matter how small. If they were given enough time to argue it out, then they could get anything done, but neither of them really wanted to budge from their respective positions.  

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that they were both too stubborn to let the other take control of the investigation. Light was a natural born leader, but it was L’s job to be the head detective on this case. And it pissed him off.

“It will not result in an _immediate_ arrest, Mr. Yagami. Can’t you see that without investigating it further? I thought you were a much better detective. But, you are proving me wrong.”

Although all Light got was a computerized voice, he could hear the smugness in every word L said. _God, he couldn’t stand this bastard_. However, he knew that this person was worth looking into, whether it went far or not. Any lead was a good one at this point.

“You know what? Fine. This won’t lead to an _immediate_ arrest, I know that. But, even if they aren’t the main person or persons we’re looking for, this could go somewhere. Could even lead us to a breakthrough. We’ve been at a standstill for days, L, and if we keep doing nothing then another person is going to go missing. I just think—”

“Oh, yes, I know that already. You’ve been on the right trail for about a day.”

The entire work room goes silent and all Light can hear is the sound of his blood pumping through his veins. He’s practically seething. He’s doing everything in his power to not show how angry he is. Of course L knew more than he let on. He could have said something, but no. Light learned that L loved to test his subordinates. Actually, it was only Light. But he liked to pretend that the other’s got some kind of test, too.

After working with this asshole, it was no wonder that the few detectives who had worked with L could only remember that he was difficult to work with and arrogant as hell.

So, cue the bickering that lasted for over an hour, but ended up in the case progressing more than it had in a few days.

The other detectives in the room remained silent. It was useless to try and stop those two.

\----

Normally, Light would wait until the _end_ of a case before he went out, drank too much, and possibly (definitely) fool around with some random guy who didn’t bore him to death. All without his wife knowing (tonight she thinks he’s doing mountains of paperwork and she will never know anything else).

But this case –L, in particular– was very draining and he just wanted a break from the chaos. They were a month into it and it hadn’t been solved yet. Even if it was for a night, he needed this break for his sanity. He deserved that much, at least.

Normally, he wouldn’t allow himself to be so infuriated by another person but L managed to get under his skin. Light could barely hold himself together half of the time, even if he found pissing L off to be entertaining just the same. While there was a serious human trafficking ring out there, he had to admit that bickering with the lead detective was almost fun. Perhaps fun wasn’t the right word, but it had been a long time since he last met someone on his level.

And he can’t remember the last time.

However, fun aside, L still pissed him off and he still needed a quick break and a drink.

Light sits at the bar, one leg crossed over the other. His wedding ring sits in the inner pocket of his jacket, where it will remain until he decides to go back home to his wife. He takes small sips of some drink that he couldn’t remember the name of. Maybe it was the special for tonight, but he honestly didn’t care. He hadn’t been listening to the bartender when he slid him the drink saying how he looked like he could use it.

He had been going to the same bar ever since he could legally drink. He refused to go to gay bars that were packed with people and the music played too loud. The regular bartender (who was also the owner) here was some goth-ish man and he knew him well, and he always made sure to ward off any men that seemed unsightly. Even if Light could do that for himself. He was grateful for him, might even consider him a friend if he had friends.

“Most people here seem to be having a good time. You, on the other hand, appear quite bored.”

The voice has an accent, Light notices that first. The man’s Japanese is good but it’s clear that he’s a foreigner. Somewhere in Europe, if Light knows his accents at all. He shifts in his seat to see the stranger, and he is pleased.

Tall, sharp jawline, high cheek bones, slightly upturned nose, piercing eyes, and aura of arrogance that rivaled his own. He’s drawn in, at the very least.  

“Most people don’t analyze a stranger before giving a name.”

“It’s Elliot. What about me? Do I get a name by any chance?” He sits down in the stool next to Light, propping his head up on his hand. He’s confident, boarding on arrogant, and doesn’t seem to care all that much.

“Light.”

“Pretty name.”

“Is it? I never thought of it as anything other than just a name.”

“Ah, but that’s just the thing, Light. You’ve never had a conversation with me. I can assure you, I might be able to make you see things in a pretty, new _light_.”

It’s not a good joke. Actually, it’s downright awful and it has Light rolling his eyes, but it’s just enough of a reaction that he wants to continue the conversation.   

“Do you usually tell bad jokes when meeting new people?”

“Bad jokes? I was under the impression that all of my jokes were top notch,” Elliot explains with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

“Whoever told you that must have been lying.”

“Now, I disagree. Care to hear why?”

Elliot then proceeds to give a long, oddly thought out list of the reasons why every single one of his (bad) jokes are the peak of comedy. Light could only shake his head and come up with counter-arguments that didn’t hold much validity to them.

Time passes and they only keep talking about, well, everything. Light found this man to be easy to talk to because conversation came naturally. But, it was also infuriating because Elliot enjoyed arguing. However, the arguing was exciting and fresh. It kept Light on his toes and it was difficult to predict what Elliot might say next.

So, it came to no surprise that Light was very willing to go back to Elliot’s hotel after two hours of just talking and flirting.

They clicked, so it seemed natural that things would progress further.

The trip there was a blur, an event that Light would probably forget within a month. However, in the moment, the kisses that Elliot would give him were something to remember.

Getting into the room, however, was much more worth Light’s time.

They had just barely stepped into the hotel room before Elliot pressed him against the wall, kissing his neck and causing Light to moan out involuntarily. He told him not to leave marks, but Elliot was very insistent on kissing Light’s neck without leaving a trace.

“Someone’s sensitive… I can’t wait to hear all of the other noises you’re going to make for me…”

Normally, Light was very good at keeping his mouth shut because most people he slept with didn’t _quite_ give him what he wanted. Elliot was quickly proving to be good at getting his voice to come out, but that only meant he’d need to keep a tighter hold on his composure.

“That… _ahhhh…_ depends on you…”

“I think I can manage.”

Everything happens in such a rush but that was fine by Light. The sooner this was going full force the better. A quick fuck was just what he craved. A few fumbling steps, clothes being discarded as they made their way to the bed, and Light found himself laying on his stomach and Elliot hovering over him.

“You’re pretty from the front… But, I think I like this view even more.”

It all happens so fast and Light can barely think while Elliot fucks him through the night. He’s on his hands and knees most of the time, and it was just what he needed.

It’s completely impersonal but it had been a long time since he had sex this good. Elliot said he would manage to get Light to make noise and he was right. His voice felt raw by the end of it. His body had given out in the best way possible.

This was what they both needed. 

\---

He woke up the next morning sore, slightly hungover, and alone in bed. He sat up, looked around and only found a sloppily handwritten note on the bedside table.

_The guy has awful handwriting_ , Light thinks. But, he reads the note multiple times over just to make sure he’s reading it right. He rubs his eyes to make sure he’s not just too tired to comprehend the words on the paper.

**_I hope you aren’t late for work today._** ****

**_See you soon._ **

**_\--L_ **

Light doesn’t know what to feel. Confusion? Anger? Awkwardness? Is there even an emotion for this? How does one describe the feeling of realizing that they got fucked by their boss?

Although, perhaps the worst part of this was that Light was willing to do it again.

\---

The following days were uneventful, to say the least. Light noticed that L didn’t treat him any differently. He was still the infuriating lead detective that got under his skin, but Light did everything in his power to get back at him.

Nothing had changed, despite the fact they had technically slept together. Work was no different. Light was grateful for that, actually. If things had changed then he would get angry. He didn’t want the fact that he slept with his boss to effect his work or their work relationship.

However, he wanted to talk about it so he could stop thinking about it. And he certainly couldn’t do that with a room filled with other detectives. So, he stayed back one day saying that there were a few more things that he wanted to go over, hoping that L would get the message. One by one, people left for the night until it was just Light and the computer.

Silence.

A little too much silence. Light’s about to speak before the door to the hotel room opens and in walks L, just as confident as before. This time, however, dressed much more casual in a white shirt and jeans. He looks exhausted, Light could relate.

Light stands on instinct, crossing his arms and stares L down.

“Hello again, Light.”

“What? No more Mr. Yagami?”

“I think we’re close enough to forgo the formalities now. Wouldn’t you agree?” L responds, sitting down on one of the couches in their makeshift headquarters. He mimics Light and crosses his arms.

Immediately, Light drops his arms and he hates that a chuckle comes from L’s direction. “Perhaps… Do you sleep with all your subordinates?” He sits back down, feeling awkward to be the only one standing.

“Right to the point, I see. Although I’m not surprised.”

“Would you prefer useless small-talk?”

“I supposed not. Then, to answer your question: no, I don’t. However, I do sleep with people who strike my fancy and you did just that. Whether it be at the bar or in the workplace. If it’s any consolation, I didn’t go to that bar in particular just to find you. It was nothing more than a stroke of luck.”

Light had originally thought that L had done something to track him, he didn’t detect any form of deceit coming from L now. If he did turn out to be lying, then Light would make his life hell in any way that he could. “I understand that. And I also understand that telling me your identity at the bar would have been too dangerous.”

“I figured you would.”

“But, you could have told me when we got back to your hotel room. That would have been ideal.”

“I was busy at the time,” L says with a smirk. “It wasn’t exactly on my mind.”

Light rolls his eyes at that, but he really didn’t care either way. “I wouldn’t have been opposed to continuing our activities if I had known.”

“How scandalous. Light Yagami: A married man, a detective with the NPA, and he’s sleeping with his boss who is also the best detective in the world. What would the tabloids think?”

“I’m sure they’d have an absolute field day. Especially because of my wife and her popularity. It would be awful if it got out to anyone, I know that for a fact. You should have been around for the wedding announcement; I was fighting off journalists for weeks.” Light rolls his eyes at the memory. In hindsight, he should have married someone who wasn’t so popular, but Misa fit what he needed in a wife. Easy to manipulate and she could take care of herself.

“I read about that, actually. While I was doing background checks on the team, I looked at even the most minuscule things of your pasts. You disappeared from any and all magazines after a month. Did you pay them off?”

“Misa’s managers and the like did the dirty work, I believe. I was very grateful for it. I wasn’t a fan of being in the spotlight in that way.” Light hated the time that people knew of their relationship. He didn’t like strangers prying into his life, and he would hate to have to relive that.

“If the reaction was so large, then I’m certain the news of a divorce would be even worse.”

“Which is why I plan on never getting caught,” Light replied. He knew that if word got out that Misa’s husband had been cheating on her with other men, then the tabloids might actually implode with that information.

L didn’t care that Light was married. It wasn’t something that mattered to him, really. He didn’t have the best morals in the world and the sex was good, so he was fine with this situation. He wanted to keep this going, and he hoped that Light shared the sentiment. “Would that mean you plan to keep sleeping around?”

“It does.”

“Could it include a bit more of me?”

“Perhaps.” 

“I quite like the sound of that.”

Light smiles in response, but it’s slyer than one that showed happiness. He was getting his way and so was L. As wrong as cheating was, he might as well pick someone who was good in bed, and L was good. “Then it’s settled.”

Their affair began just like that. Three words were all it took.

\---

The task force was sent home for the night, but instead of going back home like he should have, Light goes to an apartment to meet with L. He had convinced Misa that he’d be working until the early morning, so she shouldn’t expect him to be home anytime soon.

It wasn’t easy to do because he had been coming home late every night and she wasn’t happy about that. But, she understood that this case was proving to be incredibly difficult as it had been going on for two consecutive months, so eventually Light consoled her after a very long phone call.

Misa would never find out because he was not going to get sloppy. 

When he finally arrives at the building, he pulls out his key to the temporary apartment that L was staying in and unlocks the door to find that detective putting away his equipment for the case.

“Oh, honey, you’re home.”

“Shut up, L.” He replies, sitting on the couch while L finishes putting things away. They normally didn’t do any work during these visits, save for the occasional brainstorm, so a plethora of laptops and files weren’t necessary.

“Hmm… Someone’s feisty tonight. Get in a fight with Mrs. Yagami?”

“She kept her last name, you know that. But, yes, I did. We had a small argument before I came here.” He said, pulling his tie off and relaxing for the first time all day.

“Were you able to resolve everything?”  L sits himself down next to Light, wrapping an arm around the other and pulling him closer. They had been fooling around for a month now, and L was learning quite a lot about Light. Especially how much he liked to have his hair played with. Which L had been doing a lot more recently.

Light hums softly, the feeling of L’s fingers in his hair make him relax more as the seconds pass. His eyes are closing and he thinks he could fall asleep right here. “Naturally… She knows how much work this case has been, even if she isn’t happy about my absence. She’ll get over it with time, I’m sure.”

“Perhaps she will… You’ll have to take her out to someplace nice once we solve it. That ought to pick her spirits up.”

He laughs before glancing up at L. “Are you giving me marriage advice?”

“As a homewrecker, I figured it’s the least I can do to save your dying marriage.”

Light only rolls his eyes and lays his head back down on L’s chest. “Shut up, L.”

During some of their visits, they’ll jump right back into bed and Light will be on his back until he has to go home. But, on nights where he’s made no plans to return to Misa, they’ll do this. Light will sit with him, and things will escalate slowly.

L kisses him at first, running his hands along the side of Light’s body. He touches him carefully before he pulls him into his lap. Light straddles him without another word.

He grinds his ass against the detective, making slow circular motions that rile them both up. L’s hands are wandering and they slip down to his ass and squeeze. Light can only groan into another kiss. He’s happy to feel that L was enjoying this. 

L pulls away for a moment, grinning at how Light looks so needy for it right now. “Getting right to it, are we?” He asks, unbuttoning the younger man’s shirt just a little to reveal some skin. Oh, how he’d love to cover Light in hickeys. He’d look beautiful like that.

“It’s been a long day. So, satisfy me, L. Unless… You don’t think you can?” Light gives him a smug little smile. He liked to mess with him.

“I was right. You are feisty today.”

“Perhaps you were. But, all this talking makes me think you’re never going to fuck me. And that’s such a shame.”

“It is a shame.” L actually has the nerve to remove his hands from Light’s body altogether. He rests his arms behind his head and pretends to just lounge there. “How about you show me that you want it? Actions speak louder than words, you know.”

Light thought that L was just being difficult, but he would never pass up an opportunity to put on a little show. It was fun to change things up every once and a while. He gets off of L’s lap and disappears for a moment. When he returns, there’s a bottle of lube and a condom in his hand. He sets them down next to L. There’s nothing inherently special about _how_ he undresses, but L still looks at him like he’s starving.

Light climbed back on top of L, straddling him once more. This was just easier if he was already naked, not that he wanted to put on a show. He’d never do something like that.

L’s hands are back on him in an instant, touching everywhere that he possibly could. He enjoyed the way Light was rocking his hips back and forth, grinding against him and looking delicious while doing it. The layer of fabric from L’s jeans added even more friction, but it wasn’t unwanted.

“Whatever am I going to do with you?” L asks, kissing Light’s neck and resisting every urge to just bite down. 

“I’d hope that you’d stop this talking and just get on with it already.”

L can’t argue with that. He simply picks the bottle of lube up, pours some of it onto his fingers and gets to work. He opens Light up quickly, and soon enough he’s pumping two of his fingers in and out of him.

Light’s squirming in his lap, pressing down and trying to get more stimulation on his prostate. He didn’t like it when L held out on him.

“ _M-More… Fuck… Please…_ ” He mutters, pressing his face into the crook of L’s neck. He couldn’t contain the begging that slipped out. He just wanted more.

“Greedy, greedy...” L pours more lube onto his fingers before adding a third finger into Light. He pressed in slowly, allowing the man to adjust to the stretch before doing anything more. He making a curling motion, massaging his prostate as he fucks him with his fingers.

“I’m… I’m good… Just… _Shit_ …” Light’s own moans are cutting him off. L’s relentless with how often his presses his fingers like _that_. It’s driving him up a fucking wall. He wrapped his arms around L’s neck, clinging to him because he needed something to hold onto.

“But, you’re enjoying this so much, Light.” L said, and to prove his point he started to move his fingers even faster. It got Light to press himself back, trying to take those long fingers deeper than was physically possible. He _was_ greedy tonight. “Taking my fingers like you need it. But, it’s not _enough_ , is it?”

Part of Light wants to clamp his mouth shut and be difficult. He doesn’t want to give L the satisfaction of him begging for it even more. Despite that, he can’t keep his mouth shut. He doesn’t want to. L’s teasing him with his fingers, circling the outside rim before pressing back inside only slightly. It’s not enough. Not nearly enough for him.

“ _Please… Please… I can’t take it… L, please fuck me already…”_

L hums, sounding awfully pleased by that answer. “I do love it when you beg for me.”

Light’s so gone that he only notices L pulling his fingers out, and he lets out a whine. That whine quickly becomes a moan as he feels the head of L’s cock pressing up against his entrance. The waiting is killing him.

“Go on, Light. Sink down… Show how much you _need_ this. Show me how much you love my cock.”

“You… bastard… Y-You… can never j-just… _ahhh_ , give me what I… _nghhh_ … want?” Light does what he was told, regardless. He sinks down, letting L fill him up slowly. His eyes are shut tight, he’s panting, and he feels so good.

L presses a kiss to his forehead, running his hands down Light’s back and grips onto his hips. It feels just as marvelous as always to be deep inside of this man. He could fuck him all day and never grow bored of it. Just like he could talk to him all day and never run out of topics.

“I want to make you earn you. Is that so wrong?”

“It is when it’s you.”

There’s not much talking after that. Light starts to ride L and the two forget about conversation altogether. His lifts his body up and is quick to return back down, bouncing on top of L because he can’t get enough of this. The detective was quite right; he was very greedy today.

Light only slows down when L starts to thrust upward to meet him halfway. He’s happy to know he isn’t the only greedy one here. L fucks him as thoroughly as he could, snapping his hips up quick and precise.

L stops and Light forces himself to not whine. He doesn’t say much, except that it’s time for a position change. He just pulls out and gets Light to lay on the couch. He’s on his back, L brings his legs up and rests them on his shoulders and presses back into him.

L’s thrusts are fucking relentless. He’s rougher now, this is a much better position to fuck Light in the way they liked.

He finds it much easier to hit Light’s prostate, and he does it much more often. The man underneath him is very appreciative.

“ _There! Fuck, right there!_ ” Light screams, reaching out and grabbing onto L’s arms because they were the closest to him. His nails dig into flesh, scratching and prying because he’s so far gone.   

“Fuck, Light… _You’re so good…”_ L ignores the scratching on his arms, not minding that it would leave marks. He wasn’t the married man, after all. He just starts to praise him because he knew the effect that it had on him. He whispered into Light’s ear, telling him how perfect he was, how good it felt to fuck him, how wonderfully he took his cock.

He fucked Light throughout his orgasm, rocking deep into him until couldn’t hold back and he, too, came. They were an absolute mess, but neither of them seemed to care.

Because Light made no plans to go home, they shower together. The warm water is soothing and they’re grateful for it. And after that L will make a pot of coffee once they’ve finished and they’ll watch a movie before going for round two with Light bent over the kitchen table.

Maybe it’s nights like these that make Light wonder if they could be a real couple. And it’s these same nights that make him remember that it will never happen.

\---

The case was finally over after 3 months. The criminals were in prison and all was well in the world. And to celebrate the two men decided to go for a drive to a few towns over just to go to some random hotel for the fun of it.

They could have done this back at L’s apartment, but the anonymity of being in a new place was appealing to them. Light certainly liked the idea of being in a town too big to know or care who he was or that he was a married man. He could just spend some time with L without any worries.

The hotel was fancy, probably too fancy to have an affair in, but L liked to throw his money around. And Light –as much as he would never say it- liked pretty things.

The very first thing they do is take a shower. There’s nothing more than soft kisses and teasing touches, but Light wants them to be clean before they do anything. Maybe there’s some fake too deep metaphor tucked away in there, but maybe not.

After the shower, it feels like Light blinked once before he was his hands and knees while L ran his tongue across his hole.

The action is sudden and has him moaning. There’s no time for fake romance.

L’s tongue is teasing him, licking in just the right way because he knows how to make Light weak in the knees. He spreads his cheeks just enough to start pressing his tongue _inside_. He prods and pushes, practically fucking Light with his tongue alone.

If a tongue could be a sin, then L had accomplished that.

His arms and legs are shaking. Light can’t hold himself up anymore because the simple licks are messing with his head. He practically collapses onto the bed, letting the pleasure consume him entirely.

That tongue is replaced with fingers and Light’s falling apart.

He’s flat on his stomach while L worked a finger into him, curling it and hitting every single spot that needed to be touched. L was hitting his prostate more than was necessary, but Light was not complaining.

One finger became two, two became three, and fingers weren’t enough to satisfy. And yet Light was still feeling so fucking good.

“Fuck, L! Right… there!” He moaned, pressing his back into the other’s touch like he was addicted to it.

If someone could be addicted to pleasure, then Light was an addict for whatever pleasure L could provide him. And he was always desperate for more.

“Here?” L asks, rubbing three of his fingers against Light’s prostate. He adds just enough pressure to get Light to start squirming underneath him.

And _oh_ does he squirm.

“Y-Yes! Just…. Fuck! _Fuck me already_!”

L could never deny him when he sounded like that. Actually, he had found that denying Light wasn’t the smartest idea, even if it was quite fun. He had spent two months in this affair and it showed no signs of stopping any time soon.

Not that L was complaining. This could last for a long time and he would never find a single complaint. And he knew that Light felt the same, even if neither of them would say it out loud.

L pulls his fingers out, grinning at the whine that Light couldn’t hold in, and quickly rolls a condom on. There’s a brief moment of silence as he slides into Light, going slowly and carefully as if he cared.

“I hate it when you’re gentle…” Light mutters, pressing the side his face into the pillows under his head.

Those words alone made L grab a fist full of Light’s hair and pull his head back up, gripping tight (but not too tight. Never too tight). “Tell me what you want then, Light. I want to hear you say it."

The moan that came out of his mouth was almost cocky because he was getting just what he wanted. Those fingers in his hair made him shiver. He was not shy about what he wanted. He was demanding. “Fuck me like you mean it… Make me scream.”

“You know as well as I,” L pauses and snaps his hips. The motion is quick, rough, and it’s just a preview of what Light will get tonight. “I’m very good at getting that pretty little voice of yours to come out.”

L pounds into him, not being gentle in the slightest. Light had asked, after all. And he was eager to please, especially because Light had the prettiest voice. He presses him into the mattress, using every last inch of his cock to fuck Light deep.

L didn’t hold back with the roughness, and Light couldn’t hold a single sound in. He could only moan and whine and scream. He wanted to clutch onto a pillow to muffle himself, but L’s grip on his hair never went away. The dull pain on his scalp only heightened the pleasure for him.

Light came screaming L’s name and he didn’t regret a single thing.

\---

The case they worked on together had been solved a month ago but he told Misa otherwise. She believed him.

Light returns home late one night, which is nothing new for him anymore. He works, visits L for a while, limps home, and slips his wedding ring back on before Misa ever notices it’s off.

Or so he thought.

He walks into their house, expecting it to be completely dark, but Misa was right there on the couch. She didn’t run to him and throw her arms around him. She didn’t kiss him or try to coax him into their bedroom. In fact, she didn’t do any of the things she normally would have.

This time, she didn’t even look at him when he came in.

“Tell me… What’s her name?”

Light froze. He hadn’t anticipated this. It was a concern, sure. But, he didn’t think she would ever be able to assume that he had been cheating. Especially not this soon. He couldn’t freak out over this. If he did seem visibly distraught in any way, then she’d know. Technically, there wasn’t a “she”, so he wouldn’t be lying about that. Yes, he’d lead with that.

“Misa…” He says it slowly. He uses the voice that always works on her to convince her of just about anything. He hopes it will work this time, too. “There is no-”  

“I know that.” She raises her voice just enough to convey how angry she is. She stands up and faces him.  She takes a deep breath before continuing. Misa is not an angry person. “Or I… I just…”

“Then what is this about? If you know-”  

“What’s _his_ name?”

One of Light’s biggest fears is to be found out for everything that he is. Whether it be his distaste for a majority of the world’s criminal population, the boredom that was constantly clawing at the back of his mind, or his sexuality. He liked to be hidden from the world and only show what he wanted people to see. So this was a situation that he never wanted to be in.

Right now, he knew that he couldn’t deny everything or manipulate Misa in any way. He could see that in her eyes. He could read her body language and he just knew that he wasn’t getting out of this. Their marriage had been crumbling apart since they signed the marriage certificate. But, maybe Light never expected it to end in this way.

In the back of his mind, he hoped that L knew a good divorce lawyer. He was going to need one if this got messy.

“How did you figure this out?”

“I’m not stupid, Light! I always knew you’ve never put all of yourself into our marriage. I hoped that maybe one day… Maybe one day you could love me, but I’m tired of lying to myself. I know you don’t love me. I’ve accepted that.

You’ve… changed since you took that last case. You’re happier, you talked about it like you’ve never been more engaged in something. As your wife, I knew that you liked your job, no matter how dangerous and gruesome it got, and I knew that it was important to you. But…

But, then you started coming home late or never for a night. And it kept happening. Of course, I suspected cheating. You reassured me so well that it was just for this case because it was so complicated… But… I also talked to one of your co-workers the other day because I wanted to take you out for lunch, and he said you weren’t there and the case you had been on was over for a month.

When you talked about the people working on that last case, I noticed that they’re all men… I don’t know when you’d find the time to start cheating on me if it wasn’t on this case… I put the pieces together, Light. It’s so obvious.

I just… I want to know… Who he is and how long this has been going on. Is that too much to ask for?”

Light couldn’t dispute anything. He couldn’t lie to her anymore. Maybe divorce was a good thing for them. But, still, telling the truth made him incredibly uncomfortable, but there was nothing he could do now. If she wanted to know, then the least he could do was give her that. But, he couldn’t tell her the complete truth without revealing L’s identity. That was something he wouldn’t do.

“His name is Elliot. He’s a foreign detective that was also working on the same case as me. We met four months ago… The affair’s been going on for three…”

From the look on Misa’s face, she didn’t seem surprised at all. If anything, she appeared relieved to get the truth out of Light. Almost as if it was the first time he was ever truthful with her.

When it came to their marriage, Light knew that they would end up divorced one day. It was only a matter of time. Maybe, somewhere deep down, Misa felt the same.

“Call him up. Right now.”

“I’m sorry? Call him?”

“You heard me. I want to meet the man who destroyed my marriage.”

That was probably the last thing that Light wanted to do. He didn’t want to stand in the same room as Misa and L. It didn’t sound like a good idea, but there was no arguing about this one. If Misa wanted to meet him, then she would.

He pulls his phone and dials L’s number that he memorized a long time ago. The ringing doesn’t last long and he hears the detective’s voice on the other end.

“ _Light? What’s the matter?_ ”

“Elliot,” he hesitates before he continues and he just knows that L can already understand what’s happening because he used that name. “It’s… It’s Misa… She knows.”

“ _Should I be worried?_ ”

Light glances over at Misa for a second, seeing her tapping her foot quickly. “Just get here quickly. She uh… She wants to meet you.”

“ _I’m on my way.”_

L hangs up and Light puts his phone away.

_The waiting is the worst part of this_ , he thinks.

They sit in silence. There wasn’t anything to talk to Misa about. They both knew what was about to happen to their relationship. Divorce wouldn’t be the best thing for Misa’s career but he knew she would be able to deal with it. He also knew she could do better than a closeted gay man.

There’s a knock on the door and it pulls them out of their respective thoughts. Light goes to answer it because there’s no way in hell that he would have Misa do that. This was awful enough as it is. It didn’t need to be any worse for either of them.

L walks into the room like he wasn’t worried about any of this nor did he mind that this was happening. He was as confident as always, but not as smug as he was around Light. In fact, there were no emotions present on his face. He was just here because he needed to be.

Misa walks up to him and stares him down. She might be a lot shorter than him but that did not stop her from slapping him right across his face. Hard.

“That’s for ruining my marriage.”

A proper conversation about the situation the three of them are in doesn’t happen. What does happen, however, is L telling her that he will personally pay to keep the true meaning behind the divorce a secret as it would benefit them all. None of them really needed any of this getting out, and all of them could agree on that.

Misa packs a small bag and leaves for the night, telling Light to pack up and get the hell out of her house by the end of the week. And then she storms out, going to stay with her best friend, Rem.

L and Light are left in the house, alone. Neither of them knows what to say or do after that. So, L just rolls up his sleeves.

“Let’s get to packing. You can stay with me for the time being.”

\---

Packing up all of his belongings was relatively easy with the help from L. He really hated moving, but he was going to get out because Misa asked him to. It was the least he could do. The two had moved Light in successfully by the end of the week and they had been adjusting to living with each other for the past few days.

Light made a mental note to not live here for too long.

“I haven’t truly lived with someone in quite some time, you know.” L sprawls out on the couch that Light was sitting on, resting his head on his lap just because he could.

He rolls his eyes and glances down at the older man who barely acted his age.

“Yeah, I can tell…”

“Is that a rude tone I hear? Why I just might have to-” A knock on the door cuts him off, and they both look a little confused by it until Light realizes who it might be. “Who else has this address?”

“You know who has it.” Light pushes L off of him and goes right to the door. When he opens it, he finds Rem.

An envelope is held out. “You’ve just been served.”

“That was fast…” Light says, taking the envelope right from her. Out of all the people to serve him the divorce papers, it just had to be Rem. They never did get along, and now she had even more reasons to hate him.

“What else would you expect, Yagami? You’re the one who cheated, and now she wants nothing to do with you. I told her that you weren’t worth it in the beginning, and looks like I was right.”

“Of course, the all-knowing Rem.” Light rolls his eyes. “You think you’ll ever tell Misa that you’ve been in love with her for years? Or will you just sit back and admire her from afar?”

“At least I’m out of the closet. When do you think you’ll come out? Anyone with eyes should be able to tell how much you _love_ to take it up the–”

Before the real fighting actually starts, L steps in between the two. “Alright, then… Let’s be civil adults here. Rem, thank you for the papers. I’ll make sure Light does what he needs to. Tell Misa he says thank you. Goodbye now." 

L shuts the door before either Rem or Light could get out another word or insult.

“I never did like her.”

“She never liked you, Light.”

\---

It was weird, in a way. Living with L wasn’t as awful as he hoped it would have been. If it was awful, then Light could deal with that easily. But, it was rather pleasant.

However, he was also going through a divorce, with the help of a divorce lawyer that L got for him. He was very exhausted as of late, but it was nice to have L around.

He bursts into the apartment with a sigh, pulling off his coat jacket and tie immediately.

“She wants the house now. I don’t know where that came from, but she wants it.”

L is spread out on the floor wearing only a pair of boxers, sitting in front of three separate laptops and files surrounding him. He actually had the nerve to laugh at what the other had to say. “Have the tables turned? Misa Amane: brand new master manipulator? But, what else did you expect?”

“Her lawyers say I can fight it if I want, but Misa knows I won’t. Says how I was the one who cheated, I ruined our marriage, and how she deserves to get whatever she wants for her suffering. She’s the one with the upper hand here, and I hate it. And –where the hell are your clothes?”

“I have to do laundry, but that’s not the point,” L goes into the kitchen and comes back with a bottle of water and tosses it to Light. “Drink that before you overheat. Anyways, what else did you expect to come out of this? She’s allowed to be angry, I think.” He says, stepping over his work and sitting down on the couch. He pats the spot next to him and Light plops right down. “I mean I would be if I was in her position. It might be best for both you and her to stop this bullshit. Although, I will say that it is in your interest if you just give her what she wants. It’s not the end of the world if you lose the house. You can get another one. Hell, if it matters that much, I’ll get it for you.”

Light shakes his head, laughing in his head at how willing L was to throw money around. As if he hadn’t spent enough on Light already. “That’s very unnecessary, and you know it.”

“The point here is this: the less messy this gets, the better. But, I’m just the homewrecker here, so what would I know?”

Light drinks his water slowly, taking in everything that L has said and knows that he’s right. He rests his head on the detective’s shoulder and sighs. He knew that he did this to himself, but that didn’t mean he had to enjoy going through this process. “You know quite a lot, L. For a homewrecker, that is.”

Fingers are combing through his hair and he shuts his eyes. A deep chuckle and he stops himself from smiling. “Of course I do, darling.”

\---

Normally, Light did not let stress get to him. It never showed on his face and he’d never let it show. But, this divorce was slowly draining him. L did a good enough job of providing much-needed distractions whenever he came home, and he was very grateful for it. 

During one of Light’s stress reliving baths, L made a joke that he thought that Light would look good with a blindfold and that it might make him less tense. The suggestion was intriguing and Light didn’t see anything wrong with it. They already had an intense sex life, so they might as well make it more interesting.

L was careful at first. They were only testing boundaries for the first couple of times they tried anything remotely kinky. They needed to see what they liked and what they didn’t. Soon enough Light was putting all of his trust in L and their scenes. He let go during them. And the stress melted away.

\---

It was invigorating to be like this. Light couldn’t see; the blindfold took his sight. Light couldn’t move; his arms were tied behind his back, and L’s rope work was careful and meticulous. Light was not allowed to speak; the only things allowed to come out of his mouth were moans and their safe words, should Light need them. Despite all of this, he felt calm and safe.

He lays on his stomach, draped over L’s lap. This position was new, something they were trying out, and it was leaving Light feeling exposed. But, he was exposed in the best way he possible.

He feels a hand run down his back and he shivers. He feels that same hand leave and then return right to his ass. Hard.

_Smack!_

“That’s one. Normally I’d have you count for me, but I’m afraid that’s not happening tonight.”

_Smack!_

“Two. Oh? Was that a moan I heard?”

_Smack!_

“Three. It was. How delicious… I can’t wait to fuck you raw, Light. And when I’m through, you’ll be screaming for more.”

Light can’t even comprehend how many times L spanks him. All he knows is that the pain makes him shiver and moan. He couldn’t see a thing, but he put all of his trust in L. He knew that after a little pain comes more pleasure than he could handle. The kind of pleasure that makes him slip away and go pliant in L’s capable hands. 

The cold lubricant on L’s fingers feels so good when compared to the sting on his ass. One finger slowly presses inside him, as if it was nothing more than a test. 

“Would you like another, Light?”

He can only nod. One finger was never enough for him, but, when they did this, L always wanted to make sure he knew what was coming. Those two digits move slowly at first, stretching him open and pressing against that sensitive spot inside of him. The stimulation makes him moan and arch his back into L’s touch.

After a while, there are three fingers stretching him wider. Light can barely think anymore, and it felt like the scene had just started. He was so far gone in the best way and L could get him in this state with only his fingers and a few choice words.

He wiggles slightly on L’s lap, feeling the detective’s cock rub against him. He wants him and he wants him now. However, he knows that L will give it to him when he deems it time. Knowing him, it could be a few seconds or a few hours.

“It’s almost as if you’re begging for it without even saying a thing… Naughty, naughty Light.”

As L says that, his fingers begin to speed up. It doesn’t much before he’s fucking him with those fingers. It isn’t enough, but somehow it gets Light riled up further.

He’s moaning and squirming because L’s curling his fingers against his prostate so much. It’s too much for him. He can feel that tightening deep inside himself. He’s so close… Too close.

He found that he liked overstimulation, but he can’t handle too much. Not yet, at least.

He squirms more and more, more than is actually necessary so he can get L’s attention. Light needs to come and he won’t make it if he doesn’t.

Words aren’t needed, L knows Light well enough now to know what he needs. He doesn’t stop rubbing his fingers against Light’s prostate. He’s going slower, wanting the other’s orgasm to be easy and gentle. “Go on, then, Light. Come for me.” He whispers, using his other hand to comb through Light’s hair, avoiding the blindfold in the meantime.

Light doesn’t need to be told twice as he lets the pleasure consume him completely. His body tightens up as he finally comes and he lets out a soft moan. He’s panting heavily after his orgasm, appreciating that L has pulled his fingers out.

They both know that Light needs a cool down period after he’s been worked up like that.

“I’m going to sit you on my lap now. I want to hold you for a while before we move on, does that sound good?”

Light loves the sound of that and he nods, letting L help him up and get into his lap comfortably. Well, as comfortable as he can be with his arms tied behind his back.

He sits with his back to L, fingers twitching as they touch the detective's torso. His ass is red and sore, but it doesn’t bother him. He likes the feeling of L’s arms wrapping around his body, keeping him close and grounded.

Light’s pressed up against L, staying close because he needs that contact. Needs to know that he’s _there_. He can’t hold onto him, can’t hold onto anything, but he needs the comfort of knowing that L is right there to catch him when he falls and bring him back.

He can’t see, can only feel L’s touch and feel what that touch does to him. Those hands are in his hair, ghosting over his nipples, teasing his cock. L is so gentle with him. Light is not always fond of gentle, but right now it’s what he needs.

Light can’t tell him how much he loves this. He isn’t allowed to talk right now. He can only moan as L starts to kiss his neck, licking and sucking and leaving hickeys like his life depended on it.

Nowadays, Light always had a hickey somewhere on his body. There wasn’t a day that went by where L didn’t take it upon himself to give him a new one. They never said anything but he was L’s, and L was his. For now, at least.

He had just orgasmed, but he finds himself getting hard again. L was very talented in getting multiple orgasms out of him during a single scene. He felt L start to stroke his length, continuing to kiss all of the sensitive spots on his neck that he could reach.

Little moans come out of Light’s mouth, his back arching into L’s touch. He was getting riled up again. This break did him some good, and he was finally ready to keep going.

He wiggles in L’s laps. He wants (needs) to keep going. The break had been nice, but he didn’t want it to last forever. He wanted L to keep his promise of making him scream.

“Do you need something, darling?” L asks, teasing him because he knows that Light can’t come up with a snarky remark.

All Light can do, though, is nod and rock himself slightly in L’s lap. If he lets himself, he can get so desperate so quickly.

“You’re so good, Light… Telling me just what you need without verbalizing it.”

Light is laying on his stomach, face pressed into the pillows, knees pulled close so his ass is in the air. This isn’t their first time fucking in this position, but there’s something different this time around. Light doesn’t want to think about what it is.

And he doesn’t have to worry about thinking because L is pushing into him and he feels so fucking full. L gives his ass a squeeze and Light responds with a whimper. He was going to be very sore tomorrow.

The thrusts start off slow, but there only to give Light a moment to adjust. Before he knows it, L’s slamming into him and he’s losing his voice because he can’t shut up for a second.

L always keeps his word with these things. By the end, Light is a mess… He comes with a cry and L follows soon after. The scene is over, but the aftercare had just begun.

The rope is untied first. L works quickly. He's careful of how he massages Light’s arms and wrists to help the blood flow. Light could only flop right into L’s arms, and he couldn’t resist the way he curls into his touch. The blindfold comes off next, the room is dark so Light has an easier time adjusting to having his sight back. 

“There you are, darling. I missed seeing those pretty eyes of yours.” L said, combing his fingers through Light’s hair. His touch is soft, calming and just what he needed right now. “How are you doing?”

“’M fine… Good…” Light whispers.

“We can take a bath when you can stand up. Sound good?”

Light just nods and closes his eyes. He needs to rest first. He needs to come back to himself. L helps with that, telling him about his work and other things that gets Light’s mind thinking about other things. He pulls him out of that hazy space, and Light is grateful for it.

The bath that follows is just as pleasant. L washes his hair and they laugh when the world’s greatest detective makes the most awful jokes. They’re enjoying their time together.

Yes, the experimentation was nice. Intense scenes followed by hours of aftercare. Light couldn’t have asked for anything better. It brought them closer than ever, as terrifying as that was for him.

\---

The divorce was as quick as one could be. Light took L’s advice and gave Misa everything that she asked for. She took only the house; despite the fact she could have bought her own. She did it to spite him. He just wanted the divorce to be over and for the two of them to move on with their lives, so he complied with her wishes. There was no point in getting worked up over this because no one was going to benefit in the end.

Light told himself that he didn’t like the idea of being with L at every second of every day. Or, maybe he did like it and that was why he lived with him for half a year.

He could have just pretended that the sex was what kept him there. The experimentation was perfect. Everything about their sex life was all Light ever wanted. So, the sex was all that kept him around for six whole months and nothing else.

But, he knew that wasn’t true. L’s company was just as lovely. They stayed up late some nights, talking and ignoring the movies they put on. L always insisted that Wednesday nights were they nights they’d take a long bubble bath together and read shitty books while they sat in bed. It was grossly domestic and Light never complained.

As good as living together was, Light ended it after those six months. He claimed that it was time he needed his own space again, and L respected his wishes without another word.

So, he got his own apartment. L helped him move and life went on. They still kept fooling around, never quite putting a label on it and never talking about it either.

However, two weeks after Light moved out he told L that they had to stop their bondage experimentation and that L couldn’t leave a single mark anywhere on his body. And they never talked about why. Even though they both knew the reason.

\---

Light laid naked on top of L, resting his head on his chest and just enjoying the comforting silence they were sharing. Their work and Light’s personal life kept them both very busy, however, they still manage these kinds of visits. Their sex life hadn’t ended, but it was tamer than it had been in a while.

It had been one year after his divorce with Misa.

Light is the one that breaks the silence.

“I’m getting remarried in a few months.”

L doesn’t even flinch at the words, he just combs his fingers through the groom-to-be’s hair over and over again. “Should I wear a suit and tie?”

“What makes you so sure you’re invited?”

“I was there for your first divorce; I want to be there for your second wedding. Is that too much to ask for?”

“Wear your dark blue suit. It makes you look good.”

“Do I also get a formal invitation?”

Light doesn’t even bother to lift his head. “I’d need a real name to write on the card. Do I ever get to know that?”

“One day… When I know you’re really mine.”

They don’t talk about that statement because it’s too much for both of them.

\---

The wedding is a dull affair for the two men. Filled with quick glances and simple conversations. They didn’t get too close to each other, save for the quick getaway to a broom closet during the reception.

“Naughty, naughty. Tricking me into the broom closet. What should we do now? Talk about our feelings?”

“Oh, be quite already.” Light kisses him roughly, pulling him closer by the lapels of his suit. He pours all of his frustration into the kiss, trying to ignore the reception that was going on outside of this tiny room. Maybe part of him wanted to get the taste of Kiyomi out of his mouth. Maybe he just wanted to forget about the mistake he just made.

L kisses him back without hesitation. They’re making out during Light’s wedding, but neither of them seems to really care about the morality of it all. There was no stopping this affair since it had begun well over a year ago. It burned fiercely and showed no signs of burning out.

They can’t do much with their limited time, but it doesn’t stop them from grinding against one another. It’s cramped but they’re both letting out their frustrations. Light lets out a moan, muffling his voice by kissing L.

L’s fingers are quick, undoing the perfection of Light’s suit. His buttons are undone, his jacket and shirt falling open and exposing his chest. Sometimes, L does miss seeing all those hickeys. He pushed that though away as quickly as it came.

Light feels the cool air hit his growing erection, and L’s fingers wrap around it and pump slowly. His pants drop down to his ankles and he wraps his arms around the other’s neck, hanging onto him.

“Let’s speed this up, shall we?” L proposes, holding two fingers up to Light’s mouth. He takes them in quickly, not needing to be told twice. He licks and sucks, getting them wet with his saliva.

L takes them out after a moment, reaching around and teasing Light. He rubs his finger against the tight ring of muscle before pressing inside. There’s some resistance because saliva is not proper lubrication, but this was needed right now. Light groaned and presses back.

“Don’t hold back… Please, L…”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, darling.”

The duel stimulation is what breaks Light. L knows just how to curl his fingers to get Light’s knees shaking. He’s flicking his wrist just fast enough to make Light come, but not too fast as to make him moan too loudly. L knows just what to do to his body. As his orgasm rips through him, he feels a bit better.

The release itself felt wonderful, but Light still felt this overwhelming dread in the back of his mind that wasn’t going away. He would just have to ignore it. He could get through this reception. He had to do this.

 L’s cleaning him up with one of the embroidered napkins from the reception, Light does his best to not laugh at that. His pants are pulled back up, his shirt is buttoned and tucked in. His suit is straightened out, and L fixes his hair so he doesn’t look like he had been fooling around in a broom closet.

L is well versed in what qualifies as Light Yagami perfection.

Light’s very ready to drop down to his knees, but L stops him.

“There’s no time for that. You have a first dance to do, I believe.”

“Don’t remind me, L.”

He chuckles and presses a chaste kiss to his lips. “If I didn’t remind you, you would have never remembered. Go out there and do what needs to be done.”

It’s difficult to do, but L manages to get him out of that closet. Sometimes he wonders if he could do that for real, but he doesn’t think he ever could.

This is Light’s second marriage and he’s not even 30, so he hopes that it’s his last. His mother seems to like Kiyomi more than she liked Misa, but he can’t be too certain. His father seems happy that’s he found himself a new wife, one that appeared to be much more respectable than the last. His sister doesn’t look like she’s happy to be here and spends most of her time looking from Light to the man he introduced her to because she saw them talking. He pretends not to notice.

All in all, it was a dull affair filled with lies that no one cared to mention.

\---

It had been a week and a half since they had last met up. L needed to leave Japan for a case that he couldn’t do remotely and Light was busy with work and Kiyomi. There just hadn’t been the time. But, L was back and Light jumped at the opportunity to see him.

He did all he could to ignore the excitement he felt when L opened the door to his apartment. The place had grown to be more than just a temporary home for him.

There wasn’t much talking because they had to be fast during this visit. Light was on a time crunch, but he wanted to get a quick fuck in before he had to sit through a dinner with his wife. His clothes were neatly folded on a chair, and he was bent over the couch while L fucked him from behind.

Light’s knees were beginning to shake as he felt L pound into him. He bit down on a throw pillow to muffle his voice as best he could. He didn’t want to seem too desperate for this. It wasn’t like he waited for L to come back so they could do this. L could have never returned and he would have been just fine. Right?

“Being modest?” L asks slyly, running a hand up Light’s back. He runs his fingers through the other man’s hair, enjoying the feeling of those silky locks before tugging on a fistful as he gave him one strong thrust.

The pillow that he was biting down on fell out of his mouth quickly and he let out a loud moan that he couldn’t hold in. _Damn him_.

L sounded quite pleased to hear that noise. “Sometimes I forget how much you need this… Thanks for the _lustful_ reminder.”

Light could give him a snarky remark but he doesn’t. Instead, he presses his hips back and gives L the most _lustful_ moan that he could manage.

What he gets in return is another tug and L keeps fucking him. Hard and fast.

He can’t actually tell how long they’ve been going at it. Could have been five minutes, could have been an hour, and Light never would have been the wiser. All he can think about is how much he missed this contact with L. It was raw and rough and utterly addicting. It always had been.

They’ve done this for so long and L doesn’t need to be told what to do. Sometimes Light thinks he becomes an open book if L’s the one reading him. And he didn’t know when that had happened. It was much too late to do anything about it now, though.

What pulls Light out his thoughts is the soft words of praise being whispered into his ear. He absolutely melted and, at that point, he couldn’t hold on anymore and comes quickly. A few more thrusts and L finishes with a groan.

The bastard always was quite during sex. If Light didn’t literally have L’s dick up his ass, then he probably wouldn’t have even known that the detective was horny.

Moments pass. It’s rather quiet in the apartment. There’s some kissing, fingers combing through hair, and if Light was an idiot then he would have initiated round two and declared his undying. 

But, Light was not an idiot. He steps away and starts to get redressed. He has… somewhere to be, if he’s remembering right.

“Happy six-month anniversary, darling.”

“L, we’ve been sleeping together for well over a year.” He’s slipping his pants back on when he says this. He and Kiyomi had made plans already, he knew that much. Correction: Kiyomi made the plans and Light agreed to them with the fake smile that he’d practiced since high school. He definitely knows what those plans were. Surely he must.

L chuckles, finally climbing out the bed and putting his boxers back on but forgoing the rest of his clothes. He, on the other hand, didn’t have a single place to be. “I was talking about your marriage.”

“I knew that…” He trails off. Oh. That’s what it is was. His anniversary was why he had to sit through a long dinner with wife number two. Lovely.

He had genuinely forgotten and was secretly thankful for the reminder.

He gives L one last kiss for the night.

Light walks out of the door and slips his wedding ring back on and doesn’t look back.

\---  

Something was off. Something had been off for months, but Light was not allowing himself to think about it. However, now that his wife was gone for a week for work, he decided to stay with L for a while. Nothing about it was particularly special, but it was nice.

It reminded him of the time they spent together once he divorced Misa. He enjoyed that time more than he’d care to admit. And now he was finding that he enjoyed spending this extra time with L.

He hated that he could think that way. It scared him more than anything had in a while. He wasn’t sure what to do with the information. They had been messing around for two years—give or take a couple of months. And he realized something when he was living with L. He realized it during his wedding too. He pushed it away both times.

During this week alone with L, he was realizing it again.

It scared him because he didn’t know if he could push it away for the umpteenth time.

They aren’t doing much. They’re sitting next to one another, L’s arm wrapped around Light as they watch a random show whose plotline was completely insignificant.

L’s making awful puns again and Light just keeps rolling his eyes.

He should tell him that he hates him. But, when he opens his mouth, the right words don’t come out of his mouth.

“God, I lo-”

He cuts himself off and doesn’t allow himself to finish that. They both knew what words were desperately trying to come out. They both knew they could say it to each other and mean it. Despite knowing this, Light rips himself away from L and he stands up. His face is blank as he goes to walk out and for a moment he thinks he might vomit.

“We’re done here. For good.”

\---

Light gets two weeks by himself before L comes around again. And in those two weeks, he was able to weigh the pros and cons of his decision. He knew what he wanted to do and he was going to ignore it. He didn’t want to say why. All he wanted was L out of his life and .of course, L wasn’t going to make it that simple.

He goes home for his lunch one day and finds L leaning against the front door, looking like he knew Light would be home any minute.

“What are you doing here?” Light hisses, not wanting a neighbor to hear or see them talking. He didn’t want to see L. Or rather, he wanted to see him so badly that he wouldn’t dare let himself do that.

“I don’t think this is a conversation we ought to be having out here, Light. I would hate for you to be found out.” That’s a lie and they both knew it. L never cared whether people knew about them or not. He had no need for secrecy as long as no one knew he was L. People could know they were in some kind of relationship and he wouldn’t freak out. Light, on the other hand, had a very different opinion. 

“Fine. If we have to talk, then we will.”

They stood in front of each other inside Light’s apartment. Kiyomi was at work and L used this time to come by. Light wanted this to just end. No questions asked. He figured that L would come around eventually, but he just told himself that he didn’t want to see him.

“I asked you once, and I’ll ask you again… What are you doing here?”

“Are you really asking me that? After the way you ended it, of course I was going to come see you. We’ve done this,” L gestures between the two of them, “for nearly two years and you still can’t let yourself-”

Light cuts him off before he can say another word. “Don’t tell me anything, L. I’ve already decided what I want for myself.”  

“Have you now?” L scoffs. “And what is it that you want for yourself? To be miserable and going through marriages until you’re dead? That sounds like an awful life to me.”

“You don’t understand! You can’t walk in here and pretend that you know me!” Light snaps at him because he hates it when L is right.

“Oh, sure I can. I know you very, very well. I’ve spent nearly two years of my life with you and I know everything there is about you. I know how afraid you are of the world seeing you for what you really are. I know that another divorce is on the horizon and it’ll end because of me, just like your last marriage did. What I don’t know is how many women you’ll go through before you implode. When will you ever accept yourself?”

They’ve fought multiple times, and L isn’t afraid to raise his voice when Light does. However, this time he stayed perfectly calm. He was quite, even. Everything he said was the absolute truth and Light hated it. He hated that L was so certain about this.

“You need to shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“Resorting to violence? How rash, darling.”

“Don’t fucking call me that! You can’t call me that anymore!”

“If that’s what you want, then fine. Perhaps one day you’ll grow up and get over the fear of people seeing all those lies that you created for yourself. Your life might be better if you did.”

“Stop talking! You don’t know shit, L!” Light was raising his voice again. He hated that he was because L wasn’t getting as worked up over this.

“You can claim that, but you know that I’m right and that’s why you’re angry. You know it and you just can’t admit it. Light, after everything, do I even mean anything to you? Or am I just another one of your affairs?”

“Don’t ask questions like that.”

“No, it’s what you need to hear. I’ve been in your life for long enough to know that you’re never going to get over this fear you’ve had for your whole life. We’ve been in this relationship for so long and it hasn’t changed. Actually, that’s not true. Our relationship has changed so much and that’s why you’re doing this—”  

“Shut up!” Light doesn’t like what he’s hearing.

“—You don’t like that there’s feelings involved now. At first it was just sex. But… But things changed. It might have been when I was there for you during your divorce. I gave you what you needed during that time.”

“You gave me a lawyer, so fucking what? You want a damn medal now?”

“I gave you more than that! I gave you anything you fucking needed! I was there for you, Light! I always have been; can’t you see that!?” L had been so calm but he couldn’t stay that way. Not when Light was so blind. He was pissed off.

“All I see is a desperate man who can’t leave well enough alone!”

“Desperate? Is that what you think I am?”

“Yeah, I do!”

L has the audacity to laugh at that. “Well, I’ll tell you what I see in front of me.” He’s back to calm. No more screaming. “I see a man who I’d do so much for, and I have. I see a man who can’t even say three words without ripping his life apart in a scared frenzy. You, Light Yagami, are a coward.”

“Shut your damn mouth, L. And get the hell out.”

L sighs because he knows this is going absolutely nowhere. He thinks that distance will do them some good, for now. One day, he is certain of this, Light will get over it. So, he steps closer to the man in front of him. He brings his hand up to Light’s face and caresses his cheek slowly. Always so slowly.

“Whenever you’re ready… I might still be around to be something more than your homewrecker… Until then… My dear Light.”

And he walks out. And doesn’t come back.

\---

Light does everything in his power to return to what his life was like before L, but in doing that he realized how much time he spent with him and how boring things could be without him. So, as a result, he threw himself into his work and used it to fill up his time.

He worked, spent more time with Kiyomi, and hated himself. But, what was new? That was his life. He also took up the hobby of closely following L’s casework because he told himself that it was perfectly normal to want to know what the competition was doing. He found that L, too, was working more. The detective solved more cases and solved them faster than ever.

The world went on and no one knew a thing.

\---

It’s been about two months since he’s seen L, and things haven’t exactly been easy for him. There are moments where Light considers giving in and calling him, telling him that he was a fool, and then he sucks it up and doesn’t do anything.

Light forces himself to be content with not having L around anymore. This was his decision, and he would be damned if he took it back. That would mean he made the wrong choice and he hates being wrong.

One day he walks out the building of the NPA during his lunch break, only to find Misa sitting on the steps. She’s wearing a wig, glasses, and an outfit that was much too simplistic for her tastes. But, he knows that’s her. He approaches her slowly. He considers ignoring her for just a moment, but she turns to look at him and stands up.

“Light... It’s been a while.”

“It has,” he starts slowly. He’s confused and a little nervous to see her right now. He hadn’t prepared for this. “What are you doing here?”

“What? Is it a crime to visit your ex-husband and offer him lunch? I never did get to take you out during your breaks.”

Light remembered that the reason Misa learned of his infidelity was because she wanted to take him out on a lunch date. Maybe it wouldn’t so awful to catch up. They could be adults about this. “I guess you didn’t. Sure, we can do that.”

They end up driving back to the house they used to share, Misa saying that it would be much more private than a restaurant and she knew how much Light liked his privacy. He appreciated the sentiment.

Walking back into the house is surreal, in a way. Light used to live there, and now it looked nothing like it once had. It was very Misa Amane. The walls had been painted a different color, the furniture was changed completely, and the décor was definitely not to Light’s taste. But, he didn’t mind. He was glad Misa had changed the entire place. She made it her own.

She disappears for a while, giving Light some time to himself. And when she returns, she holds out a cup of coffee for Light. He takes a sip, and it’s made just the way he liked it. He tended to forget that he married her, but he was remembering everything at once.

“I considered selling the place after the divorce, you know.”  

“I’m surprised you didn’t. I wouldn’t have held much of a grudge. Legally, it was yours to do whatever you wished.”

“Yeah, I know. Rem convinced me to keep it and erase every trace of you. I did all the renovations and I suddenly loved the house again.”

At the mention of Rem, Light looks around more. There are traces of another person living here. Boots by the door that are too big for Misa. A deep purple coat that Misa would never dare wear. Of course, it’s the picture on the coffee table of Rem kissing Misa’s cheek that really gives them away.

“So… It happened? I’m a little shocked… Not that you two ended up together. But, that she finally mustered up the nerve to tell you. She’s been in love with you since I’ve known her, maybe longer.”

Misa nods and begins to tell him the story of how they ended up together. Not because he asked, but because she felt like it. She was happy now and she wanted Light to know that. Well, she wanted to rub it in. “She was there for me during the divorce, just as a friend. She’s always been there for me and I needed her during that time. Learning that your husband has been cheating on you isn’t exactly easy, but she was my shoulder to lean on.

I started dating again after a while. Nothing serious, but I was trying to get my life back. She supported that, too. Eventually, I wasn’t interested in the people I had been trying to date, and she was understanding of that too. Technically, she didn’t even make the first move. 

I had gotten really drunk one night and made it to her apartment somehow. I might have tried to kiss her, but she turned me down. Saying things like she didn’t want it to happen that way and that we could talk when I was sober. When I woke up the next day, she finally told me. I couldn’t really ignore that I had feelings for her too… And we just went from there.

I didn’t love her from the beginning of our friendship, but I grew to love her more and more. So, thanks for cheating on me, I guess. If you hadn’t, I would have never gotten with her…”

He wasn’t surprised at the story at all. He supposed it was only a matter of time before those two got together. They were different, but they meshed well and were clearly in love. He wished he didn’t find that relatable. “I’m happy for you, Misa. You deserve someone like her. She’ll love you unconditionally, I know that.”

“Thanks… And, what about you? How’s your love life been? The real question is, how’s Elliot? Don’t think I don’t see that ring on your finger…”

Light felt his heart drop to his stomach. He balled his fists, trying to contain himself the best he could. He hasn't openly talked about it since there was no one to talk to. Misa was probably the only one he could talk to. “We… Well, I broke it off… Two months ago…”

“Seriously?” Misa asked. She sounded shocked by the news. She thought that Light and Elliot would have stayed together. From what she knew, they seemed weirdly good for each other. “What happened?”

“After our divorce, he and I were living together for a while. I eventually moved out and got my own place. We kept fooling around… I started to feel the pressure from my family and everyone to get remarried, and in a panic I did. I married this woman that I dated in college, Takada Kiyomi. But, we didn’t stop–”

“Hold on, you’re cheating on her too? With the same guy? God, Light, what the hell is wrong with you?” She wasn’t mad at him; this wasn’t her problem. But, she did feel bad for this girl. She knew what it was like to find out the truth.

“I don’t need a morality check, Misa. What’s done is done. Point is, we kept seeing each other. Until… Well, I couldn’t be with him anymore. It’s complicated.”

Misa rolls her eyes at that. She doesn’t believe him for a second. “No, it isn’t. I don’t really know Elliot, but that whole ‘it’s complicated’ thing is such crap. Look, I’m not going to be some life coach for you. As your ex-wife, I don’t care if you make mistakes with your twisted love life. But… as your friend –and I know you’re too high and mighty for friends– I think you might have really lost someone good for you.”

They keep talking after that, ignoring the subject of Light’s breakup. Misa saw how conflicted he was over the matter. They have lunch, talk more, and decide that they should have never gotten married in the first place. They were better off as friends. Even though Light didn’t make friends. 

By the end of it, Light is glad that Misa came to see him. But, he feels even more uncertain about his decision to break up with L.

\---

Time passes, Light’s been with Kiyomi for a year. He hasn’t seen or heard from L in roughly six months. He tells himself that the loneliness will go away with time, and when it doesn’t leave he ignores it more. He starts to sleep around again, hoping that it’ll help him forget.

It doesn’t work, but he doesn’t care. He needs a constant distraction.

He has a wife, a job, and his affairs. That should be all he needs.

\---

More time goes by and he hasn’t seen L in a year. Light pulled himself out of an emotional rut. Or he tells himself that every day. It makes things weirdly easier. It makes the mistake he made easier to deal with. He doesn’t like to think about what would happen if he never remarried and just stayed with L. That sounds too nice and he would rather be miserable than admit he was wrong.

Or he tells himself that every day.

He sits with Kiyomi in some café that she picked out and he tries to listen to whatever it is she’s rambling about, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He’s been more on edge as of late because even after a year he still follows L’s cases. And, if he’s right, then that damn detective might be somewhere in Japan, involving himself in some political mess that was too illegal to do nothing. And, naturally, he had to be right smackdab in the Kanto region if Light’s hunch was right. He could be anywhere at any time.

“Oh! Elliot, it’s been so long!” Kiyomi is waving her hand, trying to get the attention of the man Light hadn’t seen in a while before he walked out with a cup of coffee to go. 

_Speak of the devil_ , he thinks and gives him a fake smile that’s he’s practiced since he was a teenager. _And he just had to be wearing a suit…_ _He looks too good in suits…_

“Kiyomi, Light… It’s been a very long time.” L doesn’t sound mad that he ran into them, faking some form of politeness that he put forth during the wedding.

Light wants to run and hide. He refrains from doing so and he, too, puts on the fake politeness that he put forth during the wedding.

The three of them speak of boring, mundane things. It’s some way of catching up, Light knows that. He knows what L’s been up to and knows that whatever ‘Elliot’ has been up to is fabricated lies that he pulled out of his ass in the moment. He also assumes that L has been keeping tabs on him because that was how they were.

At some point, Kiyomi mentions that Elliot must come over for dinner, but she tells that to everyone and it never happens. Which Light has always been grateful for. L accepts, glances to Light, and leaves. Light knows that he will be seeing him again soon.

He does not know when or how it may happen. But, it will.

\---

Two days pass and no word from L. He wonders if he’ll see him at all, but if he knows L then he knows that he has something up his sleeve. It’s up to Light to figure out what it may be.

On the third night, Light decides to go out. He isn’t sure why, but he just wanted to be away from his wife for long enough that he could actually think. Knowing that L was in town, but not knowing when he would show up was killing Light. He hated the waiting, so he felt like L could have been doing this on purpose.

So, he goes out. He goes to a familiar bar and orders a drink. He sits. The music is quiet; he still likes that. He orders another drink. A chair pulls out beside him and he hears a voice.

“Most people here seem to be having a good time. You, on the other hand, appear quite bored.”

“You can’t use the same pick-up line twice.”

“And who wrote that rule?”

Light turns his body to face him and rests his head on his hand. “I did. Just now, actually.” He didn’t give L the time to respond to that before he opens his mouth again. “How did you know I was here?”

“Cameras are everywhere.”

Light rolls his eyes, but he wouldn’t put it past L to actually check the surrounding security cameras to find his location. “Seriously?”

“No… Let’s just say I’ve been waiting for you to come here. This is the only bar that you frequent because it’s a part of your routine. I figured that you would come here eventually… You might even say I’ve been coming here every night since I ran into you, just to see if you would too. And lo and behold, here you are.”

“Because that’s what normal people do.”

“What can I say… I was very determined.”

Part of Light wished that it was harder to talk to L again because it almost feels like they never stopped seeing each other. But, they had stopped. They should talk about it but there are no words that come out of Light’s mouth. Even if he wanted to talk about it, where was he supposed to start?

_Where do we even begin? Where is this even going to go? Why did I think that coming here was a good idea? I should have stayed away. Unless… No, there can’t be an unless. I can’t have there be an unless…_

“You’re overthinking this, Light. Calm down for a moment.”

L’s voice cuts through his thoughts and he notices that they’ve both leaned in. Maybe to hear one another better, maybe for other reasons altogether. He leans back and clears his throat.

“What? Can you read minds now?”

“I can assure you… It’s only your mind. Besides, you look the most distressed when you’re trying to stay calm.”

“I didn’t come here for you to analyze me.”

“Then, why did you come? You could have stayed home.”

“There are a lot of things I could have done… And yet, here I am.” Light knows that he could have never shown up and L would never come looking. If they both weren’t into this, then there was no point in trying. However, he did show up. He knew that he wanted this. He had a whole year to think about it. Now it was just a matter if he will let himself have this. “And I would be lying if I said I was disappointed to see you.”

“Careful, Light. I might begin to think you were telling me the truth.”

The truth is terrifying for Light. He didn’t tell it often because his lies kept him so safe. He liked being safe. “A year can change a man.” However, it might have been time for him to be truthful. Even if it was just for one night.

“Distance does make the heart grow fonder, does it not?”

“I can’t confirm or deny that.”

Simple affection is even easier to slip back into. L traces his fingers over Light’s hand, drawing meaningless patterns, but neither of them pulls away anymore. It’s so easy to pick right back up where they left off. “I don’t think you have to, Light. I know you too well.”

Their bodies are closer than they were a few minutes ago. This moment is different than when they first met in this same bar. Before they were simply two people who clicked, but in the end just wanted sex. It was different now. Now, they had been through a lot and yet they kept coming back to each other. That must have meant something.  

“Care to join me in a place a little more private?” L asks, finding that the bar was not a place he wanted to be in anymore. He wanted to be alone with Light. He hoped that they both shared that want.

“If I didn’t know you any better, I’d say you were trying to get me to sleep with you.” Light stands and L follows suit.

L smiles, but it’s too smug to show happiness. “I can’t confirm or deny that.”

They walk out of the bar together, hands brushing up against each other but never quite grabbing on. There isn’t much talking as they go back to L’s hotel room because there didn’t need to be.

When they finally make it back, Light finds himself pressed against a wall. But, the action isn’t rough, instead, L is gentle and he glides the back of his hand across Light’s cheek slowly.

He did that a year ago, too. It was their last bit of contact and Light could never quite forget about it. At first, he was angry that he could never get L out of his head. Now, L was right in front of him again and he didn’t want to see him leave.

“I’ve missed you… L…” He’s whispering because saying that any louder would be too difficult for Light. For the first time, he’s letting himself do something that he wants. Light can’t run anymore. He’s done that for too long.

“And I’ve missed you… So very much.”

L kisses him like he’s been starved for it and Light shares that feeling. It’s been much too long since they’ve had any kind of intimate contact, but it’s just as good as it once was. Better, even.

Light wraps his arms around L’s neck, kissing him back without a drop of hesitation. A year apart was too long, but somehow just the right amount to be apart. Every kiss reminded him of why they didn’t stop sleeping with each other after the first time. Every touch helped him know why he loved living with L for a year. It all helped him accept what he felt. That year apart, while rough, was just what he needed.

“Shall I,” a kiss on Light’s lips, “carry,” a kiss to his cheek, “you,” a kiss on his other cheek, “over the,” a soft nip to his neck, “threshold?”

“We’re already inside, L.” Light’s voice is quiet. He can’t manage anything louder than a whisper in this moment. However, he also knows that he won’t be quiet for much longer, knowing how good L was at getting his voice to come out.

“That’s not going to stop me.” L says and promptly picks Light right up, which causes the younger man to wrap his legs around his waist in shock and hold on tight.

“Don’t you dare fucking drop me.”

Another kiss and the smuggest look that L could muster up. “Wouldn’t dream of it, darling. But, I can at least carry you into the bedroom. I am a man of romance, you know.”

He begins to walk, and Light can only cling onto him tighter. He really doesn’t want to be dropped right now. Out of all the things that could ruin the mood that would definitely do it for him. “Since when have you been all about romance?”

“Since three minutes ago, of course.” L sets him down onto the bed and immediately climbs right on top of him. “A year can change a man.” He presses more and more kisses to Light’s neck, still unsure if he can even leave hickeys like he used to. Just because they were sleeping together right now, didn’t remove the reality that was right outside this hotel. When they left this room, who knew what would transpire.

“Somehow I don’t… quite believe that.” Talking is harder now, feeling L’s lips against his skin and his fingers unbuttoning his shirt. Feeling those same lips ghosting over his skin like they had a year ago. It was almost too much. Almost. Light arches his back and lets out a groan once he feels L’s leg rub up against his growing erection. The friction could drive him mad if he let it. And he might let it.

The romance of it all was a little unnerving for Light. No, that wasn’t even close to the right word. It was calming. It was similar to the kind of calm he felt once L untied the rope after a long, intense scene and held him for hours until he came back to himself. Yeah, it was similar to that. Not equal, but definitely similar.

It’s weird to take things this slowly, but it isn’t unwelcomed for either of them. L kisses Light too many times, but Light continues to pull him down for another one. They grind and move against one another, shedding their clothes until the two of them are completely naked and they’re pressing their bodies together like they might die.

“How… _nghhh_ … How much longer… are you going to make me wait?” Light asks but makes no move to unwrap his arms from L’s neck. He needs the constant contact or he might just float away and he doesn’t want to leave. He’s left once before and he’s not going anywhere tonight. He wants to be here and present for this.

“Not much. You’re not the only one who wants this.”

And he didn’t have to wait anymore. After all, a whole year was more than enough to wait for this kind of intimacy. Light felt hungry for it. That’s not to say he didn’t seek it out while they were apart. His affairs continued for a while, but they weren’t with L. Sex became boring.

It became something he did to blow off steam and keep himself sane during his second marriage that somehow hadn’t fallen apart yet. But, it wasn’t _this_. This was all consuming and Light couldn’t duplicate it no matter how much he had tried. He felt like L might have tried to do the same while they were apart. That was a conversation for much later.

The number of times that they had slept together was too large of a number to remember. But, Light could never really forget how good it was to have L slip finger after finger inside of him. He couldn’t stop himself from arching his back and pressing himself into L’s touch just to get more stimulation against his prostate. He really, truly, missed this.

When compared to the first time they slept together, this was a whole new experience for them. The first time had Light on his hands and knees and L fucked him until he could barely think anymore. Now, he had three of L’s fingers inside him while that same man whispered into his ear about how much he missed him. It was different. But not unwanted.

“I’ve… I’ve been… So stupid…” Light gasps as he tries to speak. He can barely get the words out and L isn’t making it any easier as he finally presses his cock inside slowly. Always at the most inconvenient times. Light’s trying to talk to him. Although, now might not have been the best of times.

“Stupid… Stupid isn’t even enough to describe it…”

Each thrust is slow, steady. This isn’t supposed to be some quick, rough fuck that leaves Light with a nasty ache in his hips. No, that can come later. This, right here, is L making a statement. And they both know it.

Light wants to hide away. He hates this honesty because he feels so very exposed. He’s been tied to a bed with his ass in the air, but somehow this was more exposing than that. It doesn’t matter how many times L’s fucked him or in how many positions they’ve done it in; he does not enjoy showing himself completely. But, he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t stop talking.

“ _L! God, fuck!_ It’s… It’s what… I’ve got…” Light clings to him tighter, if that was possible. He wants nothing more than to just shut up. However, he isn’t going to. “I’ve… been stupid… Hiding, running, staying away… You’re so… bad for me… And yet…”

“Are you… certain of that? Or have… Have you been telling yourself that… For a whole year?” L is panting as he speaks, but he isn’t going to stop the conversation. Light was being _honest_ and he was wanted to hear as much as he could.

Light’s legs are wrapped around him, his heels digging into his back as L keeps hitting his prostate while he’s trying to think. “You… Bastard… You… You know…” His moans are cutting himself off as talking gets harder. “You know… the answer…”

There’s a chuckle near his ear, L’s actually laughing at him while he fucks him.

What an asshole.

“Yeah, I do know the answer,” L whispers, “I guess… I just wanted to hear you say it…”

“You’re a dick…”

Light musters up every ounce of his ability to talk without stuttering or moaning. And it only makes L laugh even more.

“And you love that part of me.”

The night continues on and they don’t have much of a conversation after that. The bedroom is filled with L praising Light and Light holding onto that detective like he was never going to see him again. However, something deep inside told him that he wasn’t going anywhere.

\---

Light wakes up the next morning slightly sore (that hard fuck happening after the romance had died down), and alone in bed. He sat up slowly, stretching, and doing a quick look around to find L. When the man was nowhere to be seen, he glances over to the bedside table and, sure enough, he finds a note. A terribly handwritten note.

_He really needs to work on his handwriting_ , Light thinks as he begins to read. 

**_Call me when the divorce goes through. Or before._** ****

**_I think I’ve got a pretty good shot at being something more than a_ **

**_homewrecker this time around._ **

**_You know my number, Light. You’ve had it memorized for years._ **

**— _L Lawliet_**

Out of all the names that he knew of, this one seemed real. This one was the real one. Light wasn’t going anywhere this time and they both knew it. There was no point in denying that. He didn’t think he could even try to deny at this point.

_I think I’m going to need that divorce lawyer again…_

**Author's Note:**

> Congrats, you made it to the end! Please, leave a comment and tell me what you liked... Or just send me a letter via pigeon. Either way works. 
> 
> As always, catch me on tumblr at i-killed-the-ryuzaki-persona.tumblr.com for more really bad Death Note content.


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